Most everyone has a village or several villages. That group of people that help make your world happen, make it function. You don’t have to be a parent to have a village, but, I have come to realize recently that as a parent the village is critical. That group of people that you can say anything (and I mean ANYTHING) to and there is zero judgment. Just support. Even when you have your crazy pants on.
When you want to drink at 9 am. When you want to break down and cry. When you DO break down and cry. When your kid says or does the funniest thing, even if it is inappropriate. Especially when it is inappropriate. When your child shows so much compassion for others that you want to cry. When another parent says something that makes you say WTF, but it’s socially unacceptable to say to their face. When your husband does something so completely ridiculous that you are entirely speechless. When your baby is sick. When your child meets a milestone.
They are there for you.
I have a few villages from different stages of my life. My family. My mom, who on her own is like a city, not a village. Two of my friends from my Dietetic Internship. The wives of my husband’s two childhood best friends. A super random connection between a former co-worker turned dear friend and the daughter of my dad’s college roommate’s turned dear friend and myself. You may not talk regularly, but they are always there for you.
Then there is my Book Club. Or as my husband endearingly calls it, Wine Club. We all live for our monthly meetings. Our problem? From end to end, we live an hour and a half away from one another. Unfortunately, I am the farthest away. Every month, we almost always have a book selected. It’s hit or miss whether it has been read. We almost always talk about said book. It’s hit or miss on how long we discuss it.
We recently had a pretty sappy conversation about how lucky we are to have one another and how odd it is that we are all connected. It goes a little like this:
Amy was my college roommate. We lived together for three years in college and two years after. We have seen one another at our best and worst. One of my dearest friends, she will call my shit out on anything when it is necessary. Can read me like a damn book. It’s annoying.
Cassandra and Amy worked together at a summer camp in college. Instant friendship through a random conversation. Cassandra and I worked together for three years. If she loves you, that girl will go to bat for you. Every. Single. Time.
Christy and Cassandra were friends in High School. Prior to that they were decidedly not friends. Frienemies, maybe? They saw one another on the first day of High School and latched on to one another. Forever. Christy is the life of the party – we have had some pretty great parties.
Becky and Christy met in college, I am actually a little sketchy on the details of the meeting. Christy talking Becky out of studying in lieu of a party was involved. Shenanigans ensued. Becky is one of the kindest souls I have ever met in my life. She’s little and feisty. If she loves you, she will fight for you.
I am struck that any tiny twist of fate may have not put us together – The dorm gods smiled on Amy and I. A random conversation brought together Amy and Cassandra. What if Cassandra or Christy had arrived a few minutes earlier or later? What if Christy and Becky hadn’t met? How would my village look today?
I am constantly grateful for these women. Constantly. We have an ongoing group text in which we ask ridiculous questions (I have a lot of these lately, as a new parent), we share struggles, we share joys, we bitch. Some days they are my lifeline to validate that my feelings are normal, that I am not crazy. Some days they validate that I am crazy and that it is normal.
We may only see one another collectively once a month, but, that is enough. To recharge our batteries and to fill up our cups (or wine glasses). Not everyone is lucky enough to have one village like this. I am lucky enough to have a few of them.
I thank the dorm gods for connecting me to my link in the chain. I do not take it for granted. I thank Apple for group chat. I thank my husband for understanding how important these women are and our time together is. I thank them for saving my sanity and making me laugh and letting me cry and sharing my joy and loving my family and, and, and…
I hope you have found your village or if you are so lucky, villages. If you have not, I hope you do. Once you do, don’t let them go.
